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How to Make Real Friends in a Virtual World

October 28, 2023•6 min read

"ASL?" (Age, Sex, Location) is a relic of the past. Today, making friends online requires more depth, more authenticity, and a bit of courage.

The "Skip" Culture Problem

The biggest barrier to connection on sites like VibeMe is the ease of the "Skip" button. It creates a consumerist mindset toward human interaction. If someone doesn't immediately entertain us, we move on. To make friends, you must be the one to stop the scroll.

Tips for Breaking the Ice

  • The Background Prop: Have something interesting in your background (a guitar, a poster, a cat). It gives the other person an immediate conversation starter.
  • Smile Genuine: It sounds cliché, but non-verbal cues are 90% of communication. A warm smile disarms people immediately.
  • Ask "Real" Questions: Instead of "What's up?", try "What's the best thing that happened to you today?" or "What time is it there? You look wide awake/tired."

Moving Beyond the Platform

VibeMe is the meeting place, but it's not always the best place for long-term friendship. If you vibe with someone (pun intended), suggest moving to a more permanent platform like Discord, Instagram, or Snapchat explicitly for the purpose of keeping in touch.

"I met my current bandmate on a random chat app. We jammed for 2 hours online before realizing we lived in the same city." — Alex, VibeMe User

Cultural Sensitivity

You will meet people from cultures with different norms. What is polite in the US might be rude in Germany or confusion in Japan. Approach every interaction with curiosity rather than judgment. "Oh, that's interesting, in my country we do X..." is a great bridge-builder.

Managing Expectations

Not every chat will be magical. 9 out of 10 might be boring, brief, or disconnected. That's okay. You are panning for gold. You have to sift through a lot of sand to find the nuggets. But when you find one, it makes it all worth it.